released November 15, 2016
Here, there is no faith. What is real is more *here* than anywhere else. In every room. Emanating from everyone's face. Acknowledged in every word they speak, they're most honest when they try to lie. They say things, but if you look at their eyes...the side of their lips...their breath, you can find out what they mean. They came in this morning, or was it yesterday? They came in and told me what was on the chart, and I must take the yellow ones but for now the liquid will suffice. It won't subdue the fits, the screaming, the terrible dread, the urge to manipulate and destroy, the necrophiliac laughter... but it will give them a new form. My husband brought me here because i fainted. One nurse tried to give me a pamphlet... that fucking traitor, that stupid fucking idiot.
I like it here. There are so many people who see everyone else's pleasure from a distance, and they know. Our eyes often meet, but we're looking far past each other. That's how I know they understand.